Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Generalizations Galore

For some reason or another, conservative Republicans are often accused of generalizations, divisiveness, simplistic bumper sticker ideas, slogans, blanket statements, and exclusiveness. I happen to believe they are within their First Amendment rights to freely speak any of their wrongheaded notions, as long as they don’t threaten, slander, or libel.

We all fondly remember one of my favorite generalizations from Sarah (The-Quitter-In-Lipstick) Palin, telling us who the “Real Americans” are.

They DO seem to generalize quite a bit, don’t they? Well if THEY can do it, why can’t I? Let me give it a try.

Not every Republican is an uninformed Alaskan Governor who quits, but every uninformed Alaskan Governor who quits is a Republican.

Hey, this is kinda fun! Let’s generalize some more.

Not every Republican is a racist, but every racist votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a bigot, but every bigot votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Wall Street swindler, but every Wall Street swindler votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an ignorant believer in Obama’s foreign birth, but every ignorant believer in Obama’s foreign birth votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an ignorant believer in “Death Panels”, but every ignorant believer in “Death Panels” votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a war-mongering Neocon, but every war-mongering Neocon votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a war profiteering corporatist, but every war profiteering corporatist votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a cold blooded mercenary killer, but every cold blooded mercenary killer votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an abusive law enforcement officer, but every abusive law enforcement officer votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a window smashing Tea Bagger, but every window smashing Tea Bagger votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an assassin of legal abortion providers, but every assassin of legal abortion providers votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a killer of innocent Unitarians, but every killer of innocent Unitarians votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Klansman, but every Klansman votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Bible thumping hypocrite, but every Bible thumping hypocrite votes Republican.

Not every Republican is against public education, but everyone against public education votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a greedy millionaire, but every greedy millionaire votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an anti-science climate change denier, but every anti-science climate change denier votes Republican.

Not every Republican believes the Earth is six thousand years old, but everyone who believes the Earth is six thousand years old votes Republican.

Not every Republican believes creationism should be taught in public schools, but everyone who believes creationism should be taught in public schools votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a democracy-hating Reich Wing ideologue, but every democracy-hating Reich Wing ideologue votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a brainless Limbaugh loving dittohead, but every brainless Limbaugh loving dittohead votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a fool who believes Obama hates and wants to destroy America, but every fool who believes Obama hates and wants to destroy America votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a brainless Beck loving Beckerhead, but every brainless Beck loving Beckerhead votes Republican.

Not every Republican believes progressives are a cancer on America, but everyone who believes progressives are a cancer on America votes Republican.

Not every Republican is an idiot who believes liberals are communists, but every idiot who believes liberals are communists votes Republican.

Not every Republican is a Fox-indoctrinated puppet, but every Fox-indoctrinated puppet votes Republican.

Not every Republican is against public health care, but everyone against public health care votes Republican, or with Republicans, or...Wait a minute. EVERY Republican is against public health care.

Never mind.

Wow. Maybe there’s a little Republican in me after all. So who says Republicans aren’t inclusive in their big tent?

18 comments:

Tom Harper said...

Some Republicans know how to spell, but the people who waved signs saying "Make English the offical language" and "No Pubic Option" were Republicans.

Dave Dubya said...

Tom,
You must be one of those "Morans" those "infromed" Fox viewers warned us about.

Holte Ender said...

Generalizations 101, a nice play on John Stuart Mill's: All Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.

an average patriot said...

Dave glad you're on our side that was good!

Dave Dubya said...

Hotle Ender,
JSM was my inspiration for this rant. It seemed like a fun thing to have a run with.

Jim,
The Republicans tried mightily for decades to portray liberals as negatively as possible. It's time to define them as they really are. We don't even have to invent lies to smear them. The simple truth is enough.

an average patriot said...

Dave I refuse to believe those Democrats do not have a spine or know how to beat the scum at their own game. Did you see Cantor blaming this shit on us? They still have not stood up.

TomCat said...

Republicans use generalizations, because the love sophisms, simplistic statements that appear wise to the uninformed, but have no depth.

Dave Dubya said...

Jim,
The dems could rip apart Cantor's stupid little "magic bullet" lie. Why don't they?

TomCat,
You mean we DON"T have to kill Iraqi and Afghan villagers in their homes so we won't need to kill them here?

libhom said...

That is too funny.

Tom Harper: Love the "No Pubic Option" sign.

PoliShifter said...

Not all Conservatives are idiots but most idiots are conservatives

TomCat said...

Zactly, Dave. Right on, Poli.

Happy GOP Day!

Teeluck said...

I love this post man, it so so true.
I was listening to Thom Hartmann on his radio show yesterday, he read the Republican Motto or Creed they went by back then...it describes Dems exactly...the Republican party has been hijacked, they are devolving/evolving to what they truly are... Neanderthal MORANZ.

Dave Dubya said...

Teeluck,
Thanks. And it's not just the Republican Party that has been hi-jacked.

Chuck said...

Dave Dubya, have you had a mental evaluation lately? You seem sorely in need of one.

Dave Dubya said...

Chuck,
I would wonder what would give you that clinical impression.

I suppose all I need to know about reality is what Rush and Beck tell me. If that's the case, "normal" is highly over-rated and I'll just stay in my happy place. Perhaps that koolade you may be drinking causes your misperceptions and exposed that nerve I seemed to have touched.

Otherwise, thank you for your kind-hearted concern and your thoughtful referral.

Dialtone said...

That 'Republican' rant was humorous. As with most absolutes, these are simply wrong. Sure, there is some truth to stereotypes. If we begin with Liberals...where would we end? They are the most discombobulated 'group' on earth. Led by elitist lawyers and racist power-brokers, they silver-tongue their way into office only to follow fantasy idealogues dreamed up by some silly university professor who never had a real job in his/her life.

This post was a waste of time. You can do better.

Dave Dubya said...

Dialtone,
Authoritarian, hypocritical, "family values" demagogues are much easier to mock than liberals. See, your "Led by elitist lawyers and racist power-brokers," bit just doesn't have that element of truth that satire needs to be effective. Authoritarians are true belivers who follow without questioning their leaders.

Liberals ask too many questions, even to the point of wishy washy confusion. There, I gave you one for free. Have at it.

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