Boy, am I stupid! It went right over my head.
However, I take some comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in my density.
Johnny the Deregulator offered words of comfort for our nation’s distress over a wobbly Wall Street this past week.
The "fundamentals of the economy are strong", he assured us with his straight talk. And if you didn't know, like I didn’t know, that really means the American workers are strong.
Thank goodness he went back to explain his statement for those of us that are a little dim on the complexities of our economic challenges.
He is so right. We American workers are STRONG. And any democrat that disagrees with him is WEAK.
This should be enough to prove that the wisdom of Johnny McFinance is beyond our simple comprehension.
If America can trust anybody to fix this mess, it will be Johnny McKeating. He, and fellow maverick Sarah the Vindictive Church Lady, are just what we need to "shake up Washington". AND they promise to eliminate the greed and corruption on Wall Street as well.
Even more comforting is the fact that Sarah has the credentials to handle this crisis. After all, she can see the Bank of Wasilla from down the street where she lives.
I can sense the dissipating despair and anxiety, lifting like a fog from our collective uncertainty.
I hear he’ll start a “9-11 commission” to get to the bottom of all this and tell us where to go next. He probably meant a “de-regulation commission”, but I’m afraid to guess. He’ll tell us what it really is after he decides we’re ready to know.
It’s a good thing he has all those lobbyists working for him. I bet they’ll have more than a few good ideas about what to do for those poor Big Money orphans.
And since Johnny McHero was a POW, he's more than qualified to provide the clever foxes to watch that Wall Street henhouse.
Our money is safe.
So, sleep soundly America. You’ll get used to those lumpy mattresses.