Saturday, July 14, 2018

Putin And His Puppet: A Love Story

The big meeting every sane person dreads is upon us.

I'm no psychic, but....Putin's going have an entertaining, and very rewarding, day for sure. Secrets will be spilled. After all, "No Puppet" Don likes to make a good impression with Russians, and Vlad will expect juicier stuff than their ambassador got in the exclusive (of Americans) Oval Office meeting.

First Putin will stroke the Big MAGAt's ego with praise for being a strong leader. Tit for tat stuff. 

Then Vlad will remind him who their real enemies are; liberals, the free press, Democrats, democracy, NATO, etc. The usual scapegoats for authoritarians.

Putin will likely pander to Trump's racism by praising him for abusing and traumatizing brown mothers and children. Vlad will note with delight the birther lies and frequent blame leveled at Obama, and then share a big laugh at how the Black guy's policies are being reversed. 

Then they'll have a nice back slapping, two-minute hate just for Hillary. 

Putin will congratulate and thank our president for inviting him to hack Democrats and help defeat Hillary. He'll urge his American Government Of Putin into more discrediting, obstruction and harassment for the FBI.  Then they will proceed to solemnly agree there was no interference in the election.

Afterwards, Putin will advise Trump to offer more appeasement to Kim Jong Un, because it makes fools of the press and critics.  More trade war tariffs against allies will be urged as well. THAT'll teach that nasty woman and those weak Democrats a lesson!

Putin will then praise the Big MAGAt for all his big winning ideas.

As the Big MAGAt goes out the door, Putin will casually mention the hotel room video, and offer his condolences for such a small penis. Vlad will encourage our president, though. "A good way to compensate is by making people you hate suffer", adding, "Nothing feels better than hurting people, correct, my little puppet?"

The Big MAGAt will thank his mentor, and head home with freshly renewed resentment, anger, and hate for all Americans who support that unfair and totally rigged witch hunt.


Flying Junior said...

You totally rule Dave.

Flying Junior said...

Can I quote you?

Opher Goodwin said...

Superb sketch! So right on! Can I reblog this?

Jefferson's Guardian said...

Amazingly accurate, Dave. From what I've read about Putin's "one-on-ones" with the powerful, he's the great manipulator. He'll end up throwing Trump out with yesterday's trash.

Like Trump's June 12th meeting in Singapore, he'll exit and announce something on the order of "peace will be in our lifetime". Of course he'll not be wearing a shirt. ;-)

The clown-president plays reality TV once again. It's truly embarrassing to be an American today -- more than ever.

Dave Dubya said...

Since Putin and his puppet won't share their secrets, all are free to share this pre-meeting account.

Dave Dubya said...

When asked by "CBS Evening News" anchor Jeff Glor in Scotland to identify his "biggest foe globally right now," Trump said:

"Well, I think we have a lot of foes. I think the European Union is a foe, what they do to us in trade. Now, you wouldn't think of the European Union, but they're a foe. Russia is foe in certain respects. China is a foe economically, certainly they are a foe. But that doesn't mean they are bad. It doesn't mean anything. It means that they are competitive."

It doesn't mean anything...

Jefferson's Guardian said...

Truly, he's Putin's puppet. It's very clear.

Bill H said...

Dave - You are spot-on, my man!
You would fit in well on Writerbeat

Dave Dubya said...

Junior and Bill,

I'm headed for Writerbeat.

Anonymous said...

Your gonna love Ryan.

Jefferson's Guardian said...

The "Love-Fest" puppet show starts today in Helsinki. Naturally, to the rational logical mind, any American president would see it as his constitutional obligation to call out Putin for the military attacks that were revealed through the recent indictments, and to demand he never do it again and what the costs would be if he does.

Of course, though, the puppet will not do anything. He'll stroke Putin's ego, and who knows what else, and will emerge from the one-on-one meeting saying he's brought "peace and prosperity in our lifetime".

As I said, I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed to be an American.

Anonymous said...

Are you blushing from all the fake praise Dave?

Dave Dubya said...

Thank you for your concern trolling.

Jefferson's Guardian said...

"Are you blushing from all the fake praise Dave?" ~~ Anonymous (aka Majormajor, and previously, "Chuck Morre")

Chuck, why would you even have to ask such a ridiculous question? If you watched today's press conference immediately following the famed one-on-one puppet show, you'd realize Dave's prediction was totally spot-on.

I've never seen treason committed by a U.S. president on live TV before, have you? Totally amazing!

As you know, I live outside our nation's capital. Already, this afternoon, I've been invited to a "Build the Gallows Party" awaiting Trump's return to Andrews AFB.

Pretty cool, huh?

TB3 said...

It makes you wonder. We're not concerned about ticking off the Europeans with our Tariffs and disparaging words about NATO. We're not concerned with ticking off our neighbors, Mexico and Canada, but disparaging NAFTA and insulting them (Canada's apparently a threat because of the War of 1812 and justifies tariffs), we're not concerned about ticking off China by starting a Trade War. We're not concerned about South Korea or Japan with talk of stopping military exercises and giving N. Korea legitimacy. The one country's relationship with the United States we do have to worry about is Russia's. Our President is indifferent or hostile to everyone... except Russia. I wish I understood why.

Dave Dubya said...

Even if there's no pee tape, Putin is an established authoritarian leader with a long term lock on power. This is what Trump admires above all. I'd even guess he's quite jealous of Putin. But Trump must feel that Putin likes and "understands him". Two peas in a pod.

After all, besides Republicans, only Putin is "fair" with the Big MAGAt.

Anonymous said...

You are very welcome Dave.

Bill H said...

A sad day in history for the entire free world. I hope this will be a wakeup call for even the most diehard Trumpies, but I suspect it may just go the way of the Charlottesville NAZI incident and be swept aside as "normal".

Jefferson's Guardian said...

"Our President is indifferent or hostile to everyone... except Russia. I wish I understood why." ~~ TB3

Be patient, TB3. I believe Robert Mueller will be providing the answers to your questions in due time.

"Phase III" of the indictment releases will be much more explosive. Just watch.

Flying Junior said...

If I had the ear of a democratically elected president of the U.S.A. who was holding a summit with the president of the Russian Federation, my first area of attack and questioning would be about the four hundred dissidents and political opponents murdered in cold blood by KGB-style Putin operatives in the last twenty years.

One might begin with the half a dozen better publicized cases in the last ten years. The poisoning of Litvenenko would be a good place to start. The poor bastard shoved out of the fourth-story window of his Moscow apartment? Fill in the blanks.