In an effort to present both sides of important issues
that divide our country, I’d like to share some of my well-known liberal
generosity of spirit.
I’ve decided to offer something for everyone. After all, I’m a uniter, not a divider. I’m
the Only One to fairly present the news you all can use.
Welcome to “Only One America News”, where you choose, or
Philip Bump, Washington Post
invisible crime wave that’s sweeping the nation!
Much of the political conversation at the moment centers
on one particular false belief: that millions of ballots in the 2020 election
were cast illegally.
This belief takes many forms, from the assumption that
somehow thousands of fraudulent ballots were simply injected into state totals
or that countless individual voters cast ballots multiple times or that
thousands of people voted who weren’t legally allowed to. Whatever the
manifestation of the fraud it’s always the case that the belief
precedes the proof for the simple reason that proof of such claims doesn’t
...Republicans have been convinced that fraud is rampant
and a serious threat to American democracy. In YouGov polling conducted for the
Economist, more than three-quarters of Republicans said they believed millions
of illegal votes were cast in last year’s election. Millions! By contrast, about 265,000 houses were burgled in
2019. Yet, somehow, despite occurring several times more often, there’s
no actual evidence of even hundreds of votes having been illegally
cast. Despite the best efforts of America’s most brilliant bedding
manufacturers, the proof remains elusive.
OK. That was mind numbingly boring, wasn’t it? Nothing but dull facts. Real American News is supposed to be entertaining, or at least emotionally stimulating. as in inducing anger towards someone to blame for everything.
That’s enough from the commie liberal fake news enemies
of the people!
Time now for a fair and balanced, patriotic Real American Radical Right Trump/Q-Anon News Flash!
Democrat Communist Party Crime Wave Sweeping the Nation!
Q-Anon and Trump insist the election was stolen by
millions of illegal votes!
Socialist Judges and Commie Democrats deviously denied
the Pillow Guy, the Best Lawyers, drunken witnesses, and Rudy the lawyer with
the revoked license to practice law just because he lies.
In other Radical Right Trump/Q-Anon News, the Trump
Family Cartel had nothing to do with the peaceful January 6th “Special
Conservatives Only Tourist Day”.
This peaceful protest was held following the
extra-special, exclusive, preliminary, “large family” reconnaissance tours for
Real Americans that were kindly hosted by True Patriot Lauren Boebert and other
Every true patriot was so excited! Real Americans will
finally have their voices heard! A festive joy was in the air. The big day was
finally here. Capitol tour guide Boebert tweeted, “Today is 1776”.
Yes, if you’re like me, you get a tingle up your spine at her lofty patriotic tweet. We all knew what she meant when she told us, "Ted Cruz is an American hero and patriot! On January 6, we're both going to be fighting for freedom!"
Let’s review this outstanding celebration of American
democracy, one that will go down in history as Trump’s greatest achievement in
making America great.
Our most wise, truthful and loving Dear
Leader’s invitation went out on twitter: “Be there, will be wild! Stop The
And so, America’s True Patriots flocked to Washington DC.
Don Jr. proclaimed, “This isn't their Republican Party
anymore. This is Donald Trump's Republican Party!"
Rudy the lawyer with the revoked license to practice law
urged, “Let's have trial by combat!”
On election day, long before the votes were counted, Rudy
the lawyer with the revoked license to practice law was the first person to
advise the President.
“Just say we won.”
That settled it. Never mind all the votes that shouldn’t
be counted anyway. Trump and his loyal lieutenants immediately pressured states
to stop the count while he was ahead.
Fair is fair.
Dear Leader demanded the disloyal Georgia RINO Republican
Brad Raffensperger to follow his just and reasonable command. “All I want to do is this. I just want to
find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have.”
He even gave him fair warning that he was guilty of a
criminal offense by disobeying. “But the
ballots are corrupt. And you are going to find that they are — which is totally
illegal, it is more illegal for you than it is for them because, you know what
they did and you’re not reporting it. That’s a criminal, that’s a criminal
offense. And you can’t let that happen. That’s a big risk to you and to Ryan,
Even after this compassionate warning, the treacherous
RINO chose to betray our Leader.
It was clear that measures needed to be taken by Real
It was time to save America and stop the steal. A “Stop
the Steal” rally and a “Save America March” was the way to do it.
Many of our Best People met at Trump’s hotel the night
before the rally.
True Patriot Proud Boys were there. Real American Oath
Keepers were there.
Other guests included Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump,
Michael Flynn, Peter Navarro, Corey Lewandowski, 2016 Trump campaign manager
David Bossie, 2016 Trump deputy campaign manager Adam Piper, executive director
of the Republican Attorneys General Association, Alabama Senator Tommy
Tuberville, Michael the Pillow Guy Lindell, and Rudy Giuliani, personal
attorney to the President of the United States and lawyer with the revoked
license to practice law just because he lies.
It was to be a glorious rally and peaceful march to stop
the steal and save America. (Until antifa and BLM showed up to overturn the
Trump’s own words prove he had nothing to do with the
assault on the Capitol. He merely told his mob of True Patriots:
going to walk down Pennsylvania Ave ... and we're going to try and give our
Republicans -- the weak ones because the strong ones don't need any of our help
-- we're to try and give them kind of pride and boldness that they need to take
back our country...so let’s walk down Pennsylvania Ave.”
of us here today do not want to see our election victory stolen by emboldened
radical left Democrats, which is what they’re doing and stolen by the fake news
media.... Our country has had enough. We will not take it anymore and that’s
what this is all about. To use a favorite term that all of you people really
came up with, we will stop the steal. We will not let them silence your voices.
We’re not going to let it happen. Not going to let it happen.”
The crowd chanted, “Fight for Trump! Fight for Trump!
Fight for Trump!”
want to go back, and we want to get this right because we’re going to have
somebody in there that should not be in there and our country will be
destroyed, and we’re not going to stand for that. For years, Democrats have
gotten away with election fraud and weak Republicans, and that’s what they
wrong here. Something’s really wrong. Can’t have happened. And we fight. We
fight like Hell and if you don’t fight like Hell, you’re not going to have a
country anymore. Our exciting adventures and boldest endeavors have not yet
begun. My fellow Americans for our movement, for our children and for our
beloved country and I say this, despite all that’s happened, the best is yet to
come. So we’re going to, we’re going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue...and
we’re going to the Capitol and....we’re going to try and give our Republicans,
the weak ones, because the strong ones don’t need any of our help, we’re going
to try and give them the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back
fight like Hell and if you don’t fight like Hell, you’re not going to have a
Our Dear Leader’s patriotic, inspirational and unifying
message will be honored by every future historian. All his best words will be
carved in marble in the big beautiful Trump Memorial, towering over the
January 6th will become the greatest holiday in America.
But we’ll have to wait for the honor of remembering
America’s greatest president.
Everything was going great for a few hours that winter
day at the Capitol.
The President was reported to have watched his own
reality show on TV with delight. He had no reason to listen to those killjoys
who urged him to do something to stop his mob of true patriots.
He had the National Guard given special instructions to
lay low and go easy on the True Patriots.
But something went disastrously wrong. How could it be?
The disloyal military didn’t join in. Many of the socialist Capitol cops didn’t
Tragically, the mob of True Patriots failed to stop the
steal. They failed to hang Mike Pence. They failed to hang Nancy Pelosi. They
failed to take our country back.
It was the darkest day in the history of our democratic republic and Constitutional rule of law. The government betrayed our Dear Leader. Pence, the House and the Senate did their Constitutional duty At 2:24, after the Capitol was breached, the president tweeted his disappointment. "Mike Pence didn't have the courage to do what should have been done to protect our Country and our Constitution."
So after the longest day in the radical Right’s righteous
war on democracy, the Greatest Law and Order President consoled his loyal gang
of vandals, felons, thugs, racists, white nationalists, Q-Anon true believers,
Proud Boys, Nazis, Oath Keepers, Klansmen, and assorted radical Right
terrorists from the military and law enforcement.
The stable genius comforted his faithful and True
Patriots with his soothing words. “We had an election that was stolen. It was a
landslide. But you have to go home now...we love you, you're very
The Real American True Patriots were told to “Remember
this day forever” and went home.
All was not lost. The Party of Trump obediently stood
against the Constitution and treacherous socialist impeachment, and renewed
their loyalty to their Dear Leader.
But sadly, it was not enough...
The radical left socialist Democrats stole the House,
Senate and White House!!
And then the evil commies destroyed America. Just like
they did when Obama the Kenyan Marxist was president. Yeah, that’s it. That’s
And besides, it was really BLM and antifa who stormed the
Capitol, because they wanted to overturn the election their guy won. It just
And why would Republicans want to investigate BLM and
antifa to hold them accountable?
I mean, really.
But let us not despair.
Let’s urge every Real American and True Patriot to keep
the faith. As Mike Flynn, Roger Stone and our Q-Anon Shaman say together,
“Where We Go One We Go All!”