As I may have mentioned, I've been studying con-servatism for years. I've heard Limbaugh. I've watched FOX News. I have even read many good con-servative bloggers. I learned I'm a real American, and I learned liberals are to blame for everything. Most of all, I learned to believe. I learned to stop thinking and just believe.
That's how it's done. Ya just gotta believe, especially believe people with lots of money. Trust me. Or better yet, trust the GOP and Trump.
I now trust the good Christians of the Republican Party. Because I now believe Republicans are God's Own Party. And most of all I believe, and believe in, our president. He's rich AND he's a star! That's proof enough for me that he knows way more than I do.
That was it. My learning is complete. My eyes are opened! My con-servative soul is reborn.
Thank God that White Nationalist Jesus sent Trump to save America! At last, we are a great country! Unbelievable personal liberty! And so much prosperity for everyone! It’ll make your head spin.
Our con-servative agenda is finally in full swing. Crackdown on the drug war. More asset forfeiture without conviction. Longer prison sentences. Break up those Mexican families. Wooo Hooo! Smell the liberty!
Shut down climate research! No more Global Conspiracy of Evil Climate Scientists. Dear Leader will shut them up for good. Smell the freedom!
Open the floodgates for our job creatin' polluters! Smell that fresh air of prosperity! Drink that “Liberty Lead” in your water, Flint!
Deregulate Wall Street! Let there be big league prosperity for the most worthy and morally superior pillars of capitalism.
Cut taxes for the rich! They have suffered long enough. Great prosperity will magically trickle down to the rest of us. This time I promise it will. Remember, ya gotta believe.
Time to cut Medicaid for all the sick parasites, and take food stamps from those whiny little poor kids. We’ll show them what good con-servatism will do for them. Let ’em pull themselves up by their bootstraps, just like our Dear Leader did since he was only two years old.
We were only mocking the Black Guy. Trump is the real messiah, and he will lead the Great Republican Revolution for a new (Mostly White) American Aristocracy!
No wonder us true believin' Republicans and con-servatives are falling in love with Putin. It's ’cause he knows what’s best for America.
Trump. Yeee Haww!
I bet Putin told him just what they would do in their secret meeting. First, stop supporting them damn Syrian rebels. They annoy Vlad's other little buddy Assad.
And sanctions, schmanctions. There's deals to be made. We all know our president is a legitimate businessman. You believe that, right? I know you do.
Trump's playin' it smart, keepin' what's said between him and Putin a secret from us. Kremlin Don knows who to trust, I tell ya. Ya gotta let the genius do what he knows best.
Don and Vlad, they ain't a gonna be fooled by no fake news on CNN, or them dumb-ass USintelligence agencies. These two tough, smart leaders know what's best for America and the world. Just ask 'em.
Prosperity and power for those who have it! (Especially for Don and Vlad.)
Health care for those who can afford it! Free speech for the rich! A Federal government in shambles! This is what makes America great!
And what about them what got a problem with that? Punishment, exclusion, and silence for them Muslims, Blacks, Mexicans, liberals and other losers.
In other words, more WINS for Don and Vlad.Woo Hooo! USA! USA! KGB! KGB!
God bless real Americans and the Real America! To Hell with loony liberals and their commie agenda! Putin’s Puppet is in charge.